random rant..

Its Officially September, already 6 days into it and I feel like its just whizzing by, it will be 2012 before we know it. To be quite honest with the way things are going that whole end of the world thing isn't looking so bad.. as if I were to believe it.. but, I feel so unmotivated, depressed and maybe a bunch of other emotions I can't quite express.. I hate feeling this way.. I didn't feel like this yesterday.. only today.. maybe its because I know the days are creeping up on me to have to make a choice on what I am going to do from here.. my choices are not pretty to be honest and I don't think I am going to fair too well.. once I leave where I am staying right now.. I know its only going to get harder.. I can only hope for the best.. but I am scared out of my mind.. scared that I am starting my life again from the ground up and that I may not do as well as I would like.

I am on my own in life right now and I am completely unprepared.. I am thinking I should start writing that book I have been considering about my life because the things I have been through at 23 years of age.. I would not wish upon my worst enemy.. it seems like I am getting crapped on in every facet of my life and Its been like this for sometime.. once in a while I would have a rough patch but this seems ridiculous.. Soon I am going to purchase a domain and start telling my story in detail.. as I have said before.. New York can be so beautiful.. but only for those who have it together to an extent.. all I want is stability somewhere in my life.. I just want all of this to be over.