Jobless and miserable.

disclaimer:
I just woke up, so I am not responsible for any grammar mistakes that I may make. ;)

I've been feeling stuck lately, I've been feeling that way forever it seems. As most know I don't have a job right now, and as for going to school, well I haven't come across something that I wouldn't have to pay for in the long run in my area. Yes, there are programs here that you could go to like workforce1 among others that are free to go to, unfortunately none that are a close enough distance that I could actually walk to, I've been looking but I haven't really cared to... And that's just being honest, because when you feel depressed like nothing in your life brings you true happiness what would be the motivation to do better? To look for something better? it's pretty hard. it's like your mind is telling you that you need to do something or else things won't change, but your heart isn't there to care.

Since I was a kid I think I've felt feelings of depression for various reasons, It's never stuck around the whole entire time just during different times in my life, not saying that I didn't have a good childhood though, because I had everything I wanted, certain situations I was in made it difficult, but I won't go into an autobiography because that would take too long.. 21 years takes more then one blog to cover. Anyhow as I've said in the past I have been filling out job applications, my latest is best buy, I saw their requirements and I think I'm covered to do a cashier job, I haven't heard back from them so far, I am hoping thats a good thing, stores I've tried in the past respond a day later saying I didn't get it, I applied for a seasonal position for now, I heard on the news that they were hiring and I Jumped on it immediately.. I am sure with the current economic situation in the United States that I'm not the only one who did..

Well, as hard as it is to be motivated, I think I am out of the writing slump.. I wasn't blogging too often because I didn't know what to say, and I was afraid of expressing how crappy I felt, I woke up this morning and said F this, its my blog and I'll write whatever I want!
Maybe I'll find people who can relate. Given the current situation, The recession, I think everyone is feeling down. What triggers these feelings for me is Missing my friends, who I don't get to see for various reasons, and not knowing what is going to get me out of this current situation... if I get this job, It would help change everything, even for a short while.. and if that doesn't work out, I'll just keep trying as I have been doing.

XoXo
Carolyn