Starting over...

this week has been filled with ups and downs. One minute I think everything is going to be okay, and then the next a bomb is dropped upon me. My mind feels like it wants to explode, my heart feels like enough is enough with all the pain from the disappointment, its just one thing after another. I have to go back where I was a few years ago, its not somewhere I am proud to say I was, nor do I ever Deny that I was there. it feels like I am going backwards. I am starting off the new year being where I don't want to be, but maybe its meant to happen this way.. so much is weighing on my mind.. I don't know how long this will take, I just have fears at the back of my mind about something and I hate it... Logically, I just have to realize what my priority is right now.. and as much as I may not like it, as much as I would rather be elsewhere, I know that its to just find a way to gets this over with as quickly as possible so that I may move on and never have to worry about this sort of thing ever again...

one of my friends said if I wrote about it I would feel better.. well, I guess I somewhat do.. all I know is.. after all this is over, A new chapter is going to begin and there will be no going backwards.

XoXo

carolyn