Final post for 2010 (i think..)

Hello all.. well as the title says this should be my last post for the rest of the year.. unless something amazing happens..  the last few days have been crappy to say the least.. I made a new friend but even when spending time with them.. I couldn't take my mind off the matters at hand..


All I want for 2011 is to get what i am facing out of the way for good.. Life can be a bitch if you have no way to foundation to build your future.. I know what I want out of life, I know who I want in my life.. I even think i know who I'd like to be living with in the future.. but thats another story.. The point is.. I can't move forward if  a problem I didn't create keeps pulling me ten steps backwards.. 


I had a heartfelt talk with one of my best friends.. one who I know will always be honest and tell me what it is whether I would like to hear it or not.. he basically told me.. Relocating might be my best bet... if things continue to go this way.. i may just do so.. because As the LCD soundsystem song says: "New York I love you.. but you're bringing me down."


It is scary to think of leaving everything behind and starting over somewhere new.. But.. I don't know if I have a choice anymore.. I would miss my friends.. eventually I Would miss New York having lived here since I was born.. but David is right.. this city has a way of chewing people up and spitting them out.. such a beautiful place.. I don't know if I can sacrifice my well being just to live where I've known my whole life.. I have an idea where I might go.. although it would be an adjustment.. But nonetheless.. I have to find a way to make my happiness.. I can't keep going in circles... eventually my mental health will be at stake.. and then No one will be happy.. 


All I want is for next year to be better.. thats all I ask.. because I can not continue to be miserable.. I might not be able to post for some time because I need to figure out what my internet situation will be.. once I have that figured out I will post again.. But I would like to take the time to wish you all a happy and safe new year..  may it bring you many blessings.. and all your desires..


As always.. follow me on twitter.. The widget on my blogs takes you to my page.. I will see you all next year.


XoXo..
Carolyn


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