Just thinking...

So in between my movie marathon today, I ended up on the phone talking to a friend, whilst doing so  I ended up going to justin tv.. No idea why.. but it seems around this time of year since I met them I end up on this person.. an old friends channel.. Guess I miss them.. they probably don't even remember me, it just bothers me they left without at least saying goodbye.. But I guess thats what happens, some people in your life are only there for a certain amount of time, for whatever reason.. we never know who they are, when we will meet them, but I guarantee that everyone has met at least a few people in life that you just run into, befriend and then one day they are just gone without warning.. sad how life just passes us by, days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years and so forth....I did consider reaching out to them, but part of me knows that isn't the right thing to do.... If I was meant to talk to them again, maybe it would have happened by now.. I just feel like I was owed some kind of explanation.. whatever the reason.. in the end, I had too much time on my hands, as usual these days and I began to think about things that are now irrelevant.

It happens to the best of us, you just sit there and a memory will play in your head, good or bad, its there. I have managed to block out many memories I don't wish to remember.. once in a while they will creep up on me but they no longer consume me..  I wasted too many days of my life worrying about the past, about what could have been, about what once was... none of those memories comfort me.. if it concerned people who are no longer in my life.. they no longer serve a purpose.. I have come a long way, my best friends could tell you, I would think so much about what used to be.. what I used to have I let it consume my every moment.. I would think "what could I have done better?"  I figured out what I can do better is worry about how I can do better next time.. no use in correcting past mistakes just don't make them again.. 

I still wonder if I should reach out to my old friend, if I do, no matter what the outcome, it wouldn't have hurt to try..

XoXo

Carolyn